Confidence versus Arrogance:

Confidence is like an aura–something barely perceptible, but you know it's there. It is a strength that one can draw upon. Confidence understands a person's physical or mental limits WITHOUT putting limits on oneself. It is generally something that builds over time and through experience. It is similar to arrogance in that a confident person believes their opinion or solution may be the best.

An arrogant person may be so obsessed with their opinion or solution that they try to overpower others, or become threatened, or they have an inability to see where they may be wrong. They notoriously have trouble seeing where they went wrong. When they do, it's usually someone else's fault. An arrogant person may not be willing to try different things, and are likely liable to demean new things they have tried. Arrogant people usually demean others, and are threatened by new people and new ideas. Arrogant people are generally loud.

Confidence Born of Ignorance:

This is confidence that one achieves from doing the same things, or staying in the same situation. It is not meant to be negative. Since that's all they know, they become proficent at what they do, and draw strength and wisdom from it. In some cases, they may resist change.

Take the person out of that comfort zone, and who knows what can happen. Severed from their comfortable routines or settings, and all hell can break loose. There are lots of examples out there–college freshmen, new divorcees on the dating scene, NFL or NBA rookies, laid-off middle managers, etc.

By Ishvara (38.163.112.88) on Wednesday, May 23, 2001 - 10:52 am:

Sabbadoo32, What do you mean by that statement? I found it intrigueing.

By Sabbadoo32 (12.2.19.162) on Tuesday, May 22, 2001 - 05:22 pm:

For me, the trick is to discern confidence from arrogance, and confidence born of ignorance. The last one is especially tricky to tell.

By Cma (216.249.81.242) on Monday, May 21, 2001 - 11:46 pm:

The thing is non-whites have done every bad thing whites have done. With that politically correct logic, everyone of every race should feel guilty since all of us black, white, brown, red and yellow have ancestors that conquered, enslaved, tortured and warred.

By Roberto (64.12.102.29) on Monday, May 21, 2001 - 10:51 pm:

Kansascity:

I meant non-white races in my last sentence. ~ Roberto

By Roberto (64.12.102.29) on Monday, May 21, 2001 - 10:50 pm:

Kanasacity:

I heard this story last week on a radio talk of Niel Boortz show out of Atlanta. The moderator made this the point of his discussion on "white guilt". There is a national guilt crises on the part of many whites as he pointed out who are not proud of themselves as a result of historical wrongs. There was a discussion if whites should feel guilty of past sins toward other on-white races. ~ Roberto

By Kansascity (209.242.125.68) on Saturday, May 19, 2001 - 08:07 am:

FYI: Roberto, what do you think of ...

What’s Up With White Women?

FrontPageMagazine.com | May 18, 2001

"LOOK, DR. YEAGLEY, I don’t see anything about my culture to be proud of. It’s all nothing. My race is just nothing."

The girl was white. She was tall and pretty, with amber hair and brown eyes. For convenience’ sake, let’s call her "Rachel."

I had been leading a class on social psychology, in which we discussed patriotism – what it means to be a people or a nation. The discussion had been quite lively. But when Rachel spoke, everyone fell silent.

"Look at your culture," she said to me. "Look at American Indian tradition. Now I think that’s really great. You have something to be proud of. My culture is nothing."

"You’re not proud to be American?" I asked.

"Oh, I’m happy to be American, but I’m not proud of how America came about."

Her choice of words was telling. She was "happy" to be an American. But not "proud" of it.

On one level, I wasn’t surprised. I knew the head of our American History department at Oklahoma State University-OKC, and I recognized his hackneyed liberal jargon in Rachel’s words. She had taken one of his courses, with predictable results.

Yet, I was still stunned. Her words disturbed and offended me in a way that I could not quite enunciate.

I could hardly concentrate the rest of the day. I lay awake that night thinking about what she had said.

On the surface, she was paying me a compliment. She was praising my Indian culture, at the expense of her own. Why, then, did it feel so much like a slap in the face?

As I lay awake that night, I thought of an old story by Kay Boyle, written in 1941, called "Defeat." It’s about the French women in the German-occupied village of Pontcharra. All the French men were away at war. It was the 14th of July, Bastille Day, when Frenchmen were usually proud to be French. The village women, however, chose that day to give in to the German men.

They did it innocently enough. The women just wanted to wear their fancy holiday dresses. They wanted to drink and dance. And the Germans were the only men around with whom they could do it.

So they gave in.

The Cheyenne people have a saying: A nation is never conquered until the hearts of its women are on the ground.

That’s what I thought about as I lay there, with Rachel’s words running over and over in my mind. "My race is just nothing…. " she had said. "My culture is nothing."

After class, one older white student, a husband and father, had exchanged glances with me on the way out. He said to me in a low voice, "I don’t want her on my team!"

I understood what he meant. Frankly, I wouldn’t want her on my team either. A woman who won’t be true to her own people certainly won’t be true to someone else’s.

When Rachel denounced her people, she did it with the serene self-confidence of a High Priestess reciting a liturgy. She said it without fear of criticism or censure. And she received none. The other students listened in silence, their eyes moving timidly back and forth between me and Rachel, as if unsure which of us constituted a higher authority.

My goodness, if an Indian woman had said such a thing in front of Indian men, her ears would have burned for a week!

By giving in to the German conquerors, those French women in the Kay Boyle story had betrayed their men. But it was an understandable betrayal. Their men were gone. The Germans were in command.

Who had conquered Rachel’s people? What had led her to disrespect them? Why did she behave like a woman of a defeated tribe?

They say that a warrior is measured by the strength of his enemies. As an Indian, I am proud of the fact that it took the mightiest nation on earth to defeat me.

But I don’t feel so proud when I listen to Rachel. It gives me no solace to see the white man self-destruct. If Rachel’s people are "nothing," what does that say about mine?

I believe in my Comanche people. I know that someday we’ll stand as equals before the white man, strong, prosperous and self-sufficient. But we won’t get there by listening to empty praise from guilty white women. We’ll get there by studying the white man’s ways and learning to be strong as he is.


Dr. David A. Yeagley will begin teaching humanities at the College of Liberal Studies, University of Oklahoma in the fall. His opinions are independent. He holds degrees from Yale, Emory, Oberlin, University of Arizona and University of Hartford. He is a member of the Comanche Tribe, Lawton, OK. For more information on Dr. Yeagley's initiative to teach patriotism in the schools, click here. E-mail him at badeagle2000@yahoo.com.



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By Kansascity (209.242.125.179) on Monday, April 23, 2001 - 03:17 am:

It is nice to know that there are IR couples who are going to make it. That is a good thing!

By Modulis (216.249.73.172) on Friday, April 20, 2001 - 05:08 am:

Couldn't agree more Roberto. I love most of your posts.

By Roberto (64.12.104.169) on Wednesday, March 21, 2001 - 09:02 am:

The element of "confidence" seems to be the one ingredient that both white women (all women for that matter) and black men seem to want more in each other than anything else from what I observed from mixed race couples at a recent minority business seminar at Hampton University here in Virginia. Last night, at the third in a series of seminars in starting a small business I noticed nine interracial couples (all white women and black men) in a packed standing room only conference room at city hall, which was overwhelmingly filled with black women and white men (not couples). During a break I asked two of the couples (who are now part of my human network) what is it that gives them the courage to go into a business partnership together being interracially married. Couple one said, "We are doing this, because it will cement our love for each other and we want to stand together to build a future for ourselves and family", couple two said, "Being interracially married we know what is against us, but its exciting to take on the world together". I see in each of these courageous couples the CONFIDENCE to go out and compete with the best of them. They both had damned good ideas for business creations and are willing to accept the challenges ahead. This may be the key to all interracial couples across this nation. I admire people like this, they give me strength to endure the difficulties of my own life. The white woman who stands beside a black man in pubic and embraces him and help him to succeed is the best ally a black man can ever have, it shows "true love". It shows a determined willingness to love a historically scorned and despised man and to love him despite what the world thinks of him. The black man who stands with his white female mate to support her and makes her an equal partner in all of his endeavors shows incredible confidence and courage, despite the tremendous forces allied against him. These are true profiles in courage. May we all learn from them. ~ Roberto