I am from the dirty south, I love the south(environment) with all my heart and soul. There are some good folk as well as bad folk. The south would be paradise if it were not for the racist people. That is the god's heaven truth.

By Zandii (65.5.128.100) on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 05:51 pm:

I definitely do not recommend Arizona unless you live in the upperclass area then its only 2 faced racism..They like you because you have money and your children will get a good eucation because you live in Scottsdale. That would be it.
But if children are not in the venue and you handle Mexican folk who are prejudice against blacks...then there are a lot of IR relationships. Definitly a supply of caucasion women.. I am leaving Arizona because of the health care and the schooling down here..My son needs a Kidney Transplant..and I dont dare have it done down here....So back to Minnesota I go..
Minnesota is a great place to raise Biracial children the education is very good and diverse to cover all ethnic groups..Health Care is at the best housing is affordable and the laws governing the state generally are sensitive to racism...etc...Dont get me wrong everywhere there is bad...but to eliminate the our risks I would recommend A suburb of the Twin cities. If ya can handle the winter ..Also I have been told Canada is good.I lived in Clarksville Tennesee and use to go down to Nashville. I really hated that state to ...People on here Im sure remeber my story. Inshort I was told to leave clarksville to never return had a few dramas with theKKK there and I definately DO NOT recommend havinga biracial child grow up there unless you are on a Military base only...people to this day in Tennesse because of nieveness openly refer to children as "n" babies coming from other children..I would also look into Cali if you have a good income there are beautiful subrban cities and everyone is just different there anyways..giggle...Thousand Oaks was nice...Santa barbara was beautiful but I dont know about thr IR thing...

By Modulis (216.249.79.26) on Sunday, April 22, 2001 - 03:28 am:

I'd always thought Miami would be cool. It seems a little too trendy I thought to be that hard up on the IR thing. My dad always referred to the N. Florida gulf coast as the "Redneck Riviera." I'd heard that Florida has more KKK than any other state. Speaking of the South, I don't think Nashville would be that bad, although I don't think I'd be comfortable there. I've been seeing more IRs there and when I see them, I haven't seen a whole lot of negative reactions from the public. Atlanta may be "ok" but probably a little too Afrocentric to be comfortable.

By Kansascity (209.242.125.26) on Friday, April 13, 2001 - 12:09 am:

My little boy died, got caught in the middle of a race war in kansas city due to propaganda and small minds and corruption. He was one of the 'innocent ones'! He will never get to have a family, or work toward making things better in this world in the material sense. However; he might be doing something special (Spiritually) from his place in heaven. Again, EXCUSE ME for telling it like it really is. There are children who get caught in the middle of the HATE TALK/ACTIONS. Sadly, the numbers of children victimized by hate increases. When will it stop? Well, when people start judging a person by their character and not the color of their skin. All white people do not where white sheets, and all black people do not smoke crack.

By Wyatt (207.8.207.112) on Friday, April 6, 2001 - 04:58 pm:

Frangiapani,

Yes, life is quite hard on black men, but then life can be hard for all people. You are not a burden to black men, it isn't you. Without your support, where would the balck men be? Black women are there as support too, but society is just as rough on them. Good whites should not try and avoid becoming friends, lovers, partners or spouses, they should become even greater advocates and help mates. That is true integration and that is the only way to achieve true change, progress, integration and freedom. Don't be scared by losing your life, what is life if you don't fight the good fight?

The best places for IR are San Jose Calif., San Fransisco, Seattle, Washington, Montclair, NJ, New York City, Northhampton, Mass., Burlington, Vt, columbia, Maryland, D.C., Denver and Boulder, Colorado, Minneapolis, MN, Walnut Creek, Calif., Albany, NY,

Where are IR people spending their summer holiday? I suggest, Sag Harbor, Long Island NY; Bar Harbor, Maine; Martha's vineyard, Mass; Quebec(Montreal)Canada, Nantucket, Mass., Provincetown, Mass.; Portsmouth, New Hamshire; the Green Mountains/the Berkshires/Catskills/Adirondack mountains/ and the Carribean Isles. This is where we should spend our money and time--creating communities for ourselves, for safety and for social connections.

Where are other places?

By Melirosa (208.48.12.163) on Friday, April 6, 2001 - 10:13 am:

anon2000-
when you are in the south florida area, it is not as bad as when you are in northern florida whichis about 350 miles north.(i call it the red neck zone). southern florida is still not good though when it comes to IR's. yes there are MANY MANY MANY jamacains here. and to answer your question, yes my man is jamaican. everyone seems to get along as long as you stick with your "own group" so to speak. there is a neighborhood here locally, it is called Davie. STAY AWAY!! everyone remeber the name if you are ever here. i actually saw a truck with a bumper sticker that read, "had i known this...i would have picked my own damn cotton." thank god i didn't have a gun in the car is all i have to say. south florida is very culturally diverse. every country in the carribean is here and the carribean people dominate most of the population, there are cubans, puerto ricans, dominicans, jamaicans, trinidans, haitians..........you name it. the white people here that are from the deep south make life miserable for IR's though. whatever you do though anon, stay away from norther florida. that is where that incident took place with us. all's i can say to describe north florida is bad bad bad. we will be leaving to go home to new york city soon and i tell you, the wait is excrutiating. i will never come back here again.

By Kansascity (209.242.125.143) on Friday, April 6, 2001 - 03:25 am:

Melirosa:
It is families like yours and that Roberto who will make a better difference in this country over time. But, always watch your back and sorry to say, for now neither of you should trust anyone (not even on this board).
However, I have enjoyed this message board and sharing what we all are thinking. I will soon be getting rid of my phone service. I am tired of the disruptions. Maybe, I'll check the board at school sometime. You all take care!!In Jesus name, may we all know God's peace and good blessings, as well as, protection from evil. Amen.

By Frangiapani (203.54.39.243) on Friday, April 6, 2001 - 03:24 am:

Sometimes I think Im a burden on being with a black man, he goes through enough in his life without having some cop pull him over for yet another reason..that he was with a White woman. I know love conquers all, but maybe a lot of people dont date outside their race because they just dont want to put up with the hassle of it all. What do you think are the best areas for Interacial Dating and the worst?

By Kansascity (209.242.125.143) on Friday, April 6, 2001 - 03:17 am:

Kansas City is the buffer zone. It is one of the most racist city's in the country. The relationships between black and white are so bad that they cannot even get their acts to work together to save the KCMO public schools and are losing their accredidation. The children suffer here.
The state will eventually have to take over. It is not a good place to raise children. We have lost many out of town conventions revenue and they complain that the city is falling into disrepair. The streets and older homes are seldom maintained. IT is a swamp. The police are so corrupt, they'll leave a dead child laying in the streets for over 24 hours before contacting the mother....even one they know well. (I know personally).
The African Americans who have gotten into a position to do somthing better for their communities are too busy building gated communities, riding around in limo's and having expensive dinners ...keeping up with their lastest affairs to give a .....about those in desperate straits.
Other ordinary Black and White people in the community who care are working hard doing all sorts of things to try to help and save the people who are still in need. But, it is the big shots who get all the attention and resources.
No, KC is a killer town with a very high murder rate and the old timers school the young on how to be even more self-destructive....the FOOLS. In addition, the place is haunted by the past. During the 60's riots, the city was split right down the middle.
It is in the "buffer zone" transision neighborhood that my son was tricked and run into the street into the path of an oncoming car by a white boy from Lawrence, Kansas whos parents (after being previously run out of Lawrence themselves due to their heathen behavior) didn't want their kids to play with a mixed child.
My son did not see the car coming until too late on May 21, 1977, just before his 7th birthday. The white irish boy he thought was his friend ran across the street first, knowing full well that my son would not be able to make it across in time. Afterwards, the boys mother said her son was a genius. Of course the police couldn't touch them. They were just white trash from Lawrence, Kansas. (No capacity,you know!).
Also, the drugs that keep coming into this city defy all explanation. Someone once told me that black men in this town made a huge mistake when they tried to do what organized crime has been doing and is doing to this town to this day to destroy what could be a fine city.
Excuse me if I am just a bit enraged!
To those of you on this message board who still have a sane mind and sound heart and soul....keep it that way. You good people need to stick together and take no prisioners. As for those on this board who are crazy phychopath/sociopaths, may Jesus help you to see the error of your ways. We all suffer from this insideous racism, crime, corruption, hate, and not loving or caring about one another enough!!
PROTECT YOUR FAMILIES FROM THE MONSTERS OF THIS WORLD!

By Anon2000 (207.218.73.113) on Thursday, April 5, 2001 - 10:10 pm:

wow, that was a real eye opener, melirosa, in light of the fact that i have been planning south florida as my retirement destination. i want to be close to the caribbean and jamaica(ns). your man is jamaican, right? so are you saying that there really aren't too many ir?

i am in cali where the ir climate is nice. i never have problems here and i'm in the middle of cali, not the coast. not that there aren't any problems, but i haven't experienced anything overt such as you.

so it's that bad....i never would have guessed.

By Wyatt (207.8.207.77) on Thursday, April 5, 2001 - 12:23 pm:

melirosa,

I am very sorry that this incident happened to you. I am a southerner, although I do not live there anymore.
I can tell you that I moved away from there during college and except for the few times going down to SC and Mississippi and Florida(parents time share), I will not travel there much. When I was married to my first wife, a northerner, brought up in the South, we would travel to Georgia and SC and though we didn't have overt problems driving, there stares were intense. We were afraid to go to restaurants or live music places. We lived in NY and being used to freedom, we could not imprison ourselves in order to have warmer weather, fake politeness and cheaper housing prices. I have alot of property, which I inherited thoughout the south. But I could never live there anymore.
I remember growing up in a white neighborhood, going to white schools and white churches. While I loved all of that and would not change it for the world, I was also trained by my parents to accept the fact that I could/would not have dates as the other kids did(this was in the 70s and 80s). I did meet girls and we were interested in one another, but we couldn't be open about it. Because I lived and identified with whites in my area, I was rejected by blacks and actually still am. But I did discover the wonderful openness of many latino(Mexican women). My first girlfriend in college was mexican and I have dated many since. My cousin who lives in Texas, just married his fiance, who is Mexian American. we all knew that we could not date whites and the threat of violence was ever looming.
I love the south, the environment, cuisine and slow pace of life. But I love my freedom also and choose that over the external enjoyment.

I would make plans to get out of there. But moreover, I think that IRs should make an open minded, studied research of a place to live before moving there. Just becuase they are hiring in a southerner, northwestern and western state and some place in the north, doesn't mean the quality of life will be great. Money isn't everything, in fact it ain't(sic)much. Look for a place that will be open to your relationship, your children and your freedom of access and thought. Violence against difference is real and should not be taking lightly.

Be well and sending my love!

By Melirosa (208.48.12.163) on Thursday, April 5, 2001 - 09:45 am:

kansascity-
am i correct in assuming that you are from Kansas city, missouri, hence your name. sorry to hear that your family has experienced bigotry first hand. did it take place in kansas city? how do you find the race relations to be in your area? i know that back home in N.Y.C., i didn't experience the things that i do hear. there is a lot of people who date outside of their race where i am from and people really don't see it as being different. there are problems from time to time with women, usually black women, but few and far between. you are right though, i am always on alert down here and i NEVER let my guard down. i feel like i'm always ready to scratch someones eyes out. it's really tiring and i can't wait until i leave.

By Melirosa (208.48.12.163) on Thursday, April 5, 2001 - 09:32 am:

roberto-
thanks for the advice. i don't have much love for the NAACP either. i really don't like any one group that eraticates situations on race..BUT... the thought has crossed my mind, i have to say, to call them and report this officer and the police in this county for being allowed to carry on in this manner. if they did it to us, i am sure we aren't the first nor will we be the last. somebody has to stop it. i did phone the police station and spoke with this officers superior, who assured me that the situation would be remedied, but he didn't sound to sincere and he wanted nothing more than to get me off the phone and out of his ear. i can assure you, i am not stopping here and i will take this to the states congressional representative. no human being should have to be subjected to such stupidity and pure, down right ignorance.i want a public apology from the whole department and i want them to reform their ways of "policing" their community. i know i am not going to change the way these bigots think at home or in their private lives, but if they are there to serve a community, while they are in uniform, supposedly doing their jobs in a professional manner, and getting payed with citizens tax dollars...black and white....they need to act accordingly and do their job in the manner for which it was designed, and stop wearing their white sheets to work.

By Roberto (64.12.104.167) on Thursday, April 5, 2001 - 12:06 am:

Melirosa:

It was regrettable that you had to experience such harrassment. Last year my oldest son experience something similar to this in Florida. He was with his girlfriend (she is white). He got the highway patrolman's name, badge and car number. He kept his temper and did not give the officer an excuse to take action against him. I took the incident and reported it to my congressman. We eventually got it resolved with an apology. Melirosa, do not allow them to get off the hook on this one. Have your man take this to his congressional representative. I do not have a lot of love for the NAACP, but they do serve a function to get such matters highlighted. Your man may want to contact them as well to put heat on the officer and the department where he work through the NAACP's regional branch office in the state of Florida. ~ Roberto

By Kansascity (209.242.125.155) on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 04:55 pm:

Melirosa
Sorry you both went through that ordeal. It is imperative that IR couples and their families find environments where they are secure. We too often get caught up in the cross-fire.
Be aware of the problems and stay aware. Do not let your guard down for a minute when away from HOME. There are still places in this country where no one (of any race) is safe.
My family and I have been through allot..won't go into it at this time. Too painfull. Think like a warrior. Take Care :-)

By Melirosa (208.48.12.163) on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 11:23 am:

i just wanted to comment on an incident that occurred over the past weekend. first of all, i am not from the south (thank god), and i am sorry if i have offended anyone by saying that and maybe my judgement of south is premature considering that i have not been here for that long. most of you that post here regularly, probably already know that i am from new york city, a far cry from where i now reside in south florida. i am living in the ft.lauderdale area about 11 miles north of miami. i have witnessed and been subjected to so many negative reactions by the people here due to my relationship with my fiancee because he is black. anyway, let me get to my point. this past weekend, my fiancee and i had to make a trip up to the northern part of florida, not far from tampa. you have to travel on some really god forsaken roads to get to where we were going. while on one of these "god forsaken" roads, we were stopped by a "police officer" for speeding, so he says. he asked that my fiancee step out of the car, he checked his ID and sent him to stand at the back of the car. he then peered into the window at me, and this is the kicker, asked me "little lady, are you being held against your will by this man?" at that point i wanted to lunge at his neck and beat the life out of him. i immediately said no and then i asked him as to why he would ask me such a ridiculous question. his reply to me was that the whole situation just looked suspicious to him. he asked us both where we were from. we told him that he already knows the answer to that question because our address is on our licences. he said, "no, i mean originally." i told him unless this question was going to pertain to our traffic stop in some way or another, it was really none of his business. it all ended without incident after 30 minutes of being questioned (harrassed) needlessly. i gues he must have forgotten that we were "speeding" because he never did issue us our citation for the reason that he originally stopped us for. when we got home i phoned the police department for the county that we were traveling through, made a report against the "officer" and i am now waiting to see what will happen on their end.

living in the south has proven to be a negative experience in my situation and i will NEVER travel below northern virginia when i move back up north. i find the whites for the most part to be very harsh and judgemental to individuals who are in IR's. I am latin and it seems as though even the latin people here, majority of them being cuban, (i am of puerto-rican decent) are very intolerant of IR's. of course i can not say everybody is that way, that would be untrue, but for the most part it has been horrible and i wouldn't recommend this area of the country to anyone who is in an interracial relationship. it is like a constant battle with the general public. i shouldn't have to explain to anyone why i love who i love and constantly defend our love against the snide remarks and filthy looks we get from racist people. again, i am very sorry if i have offended anyone from the south here, i am just simply stating my experience in living here and i in no way mean to offend you in anyway.