Frankie: Beside the herculean stamina of some black men, the power comes in the hips/waists. Do not be intimidated by the sexual power of some black men. On who uses whom. Dean Martin once had a song, "Everybody Love Somebody Sometimes", I will say "Everybody Use Somebody Sometimes", it works both ways my learned Indian friend. Good observations. ~ Roberto

By Frankie (128.164.161.245) on Tuesday, March 20, 2001 - 03:57 pm:

An interesting site, and for the most part, most of the participants are carrying themselves in a polite manner - polite for the Internet, anyway. I think I can contribute some viewpoints, since I am neither white nor black. My family is from India, but I was born and raised in the U.S. - and as an outsider, I think I can see things that the two groups sometime miss. I think the woman who started this thread raised some interesting points. I’d agree with her that for many white women, dating a black guy is an item on a white woman’s to do list. But I would say the same is true for many black men. There is a curiosity that often needs to be satisfied.

I had a black roommate one summer - really nice guy, recent college grad, grew up in the suburbs, with both mom and dad at home - so he’s not some maladjusted black man with identity issues that some black women might charge. We had two other roommates - one white guy and one white girl. We all kept pretty separate schedules, but we occasionaly would see each other around dinner time. The girl was annoying, a slob, and definitely on the hefty side. Anyway, one morning, on my way to work - I saw her coming out of his bedroom. I had a quesy feeling in my stomach, not because of the black/white thing - but thinking that a guy as good looking and bright as him could have done better. Hell, if she was interesting to talk to, I could understand. It turned out to be a short lived thing, and one time I asked him what he was thinking, and he admitted, “I have no idea what I was thinking.” I guess they were both curious.

Also, I’ve found that black women seem to be a lot more hesitant when it comes to saying a non-black man is good-looking. Black guys are just like any other guys - men like good looking women, regardless of their background - and will say so.

Plus, there is a double-standard, which will never go away, no matter how much you may want it to. Every group is always more protective of its women and who they date. I can cite a personal experience. I used to date a black woman, and we got along fine, and still keep in touch, even though we live in separate cities now. Last fall, I went to a friend’s wedding, and saw an Indian woman with a knockout body, and her date was a very well dressed black man. Now, I know nothing about these two people, for all I know, they might be co-workers. And even-though I thought myself open-minded and liberal enough to date a black woman myself, a little part of me felt resentful at seeing this gorgeous Indian woman on the arm of a black guy. Does that make me a hypocrite - maybe, but I’m honest with myself. If she was homely, I wouldn’t care, but another uncomfortable truth is that men and women of ethnic groups only care about the good looking members of their own groups. I’d bet no black guy cares that Whoopi Goldberg has only been married to white men. But I’m sure those same black guys would be upset knowing that supermodel Naomi Campbell has almost exclusively dated Italian men. It’s an unreasonable position - but sex and reason are two words that rarely go together.

----------The following part might be offensive to some members of the site--------------------

I recently went to a party, and one of the guys popped in a porn tape. Since we were all adults, we didn’t see any harm, and few genres are as great for making fun of as porn. The couples on the tape varied in terms of ethnic groups. Anyway, most of the orgasms these women had were as fake as their breasts and hair. Meg Ryan’s fake orgasm in When Harry Met Sally puts these women to shame. But the one couple which seemed to be displaying a genuine reaction was the black man/white woman couple. The woman in this scene didn’t have implants or dyed hair either. Yes, the guy in question fulfilled the “size” stereotype, but more than that, his stamina was Herculean. Now granted, this guy probably outperforms 99% of all men, regardless of race - but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it was a bit intimidating to watch. The woman could barely catch her breath, and at times, she was shaking as if she were a body possessed.

Now, porn is about as reliable a sample of human behavior as an episode of “Cops”. But if what I saw on that tape is what women whisper about amongst themselves- what they imagine sex with a black man would be like - then it doesn’t surprise me that a number of women want to have sex with a black guy at least once, the way Mythbuster has said. And, at least in part, it was a bit of this sexual insecurity that I felt when I saw that Indian woman with the black guy at the wedding.